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The Case Of Inquisitive Aunties

By Sarabpreet Kaur

Pull up your socks, friends, as we present some queries that will change your face colour from blushing pink to nostril-blowing-monster red in minutes.

All you starry-eyed couples, whether you are among the ones who are soon to get married or amongst those who recently tied the knot, along with some love-filled moments and many first experiences together, you can look forward to much more… don’t get so excited too soon, my dear, we are talking about some really irritating questions that you will soon be bombarded with! The interviewers in most cases are the elder ladies of the family- bhua, chachi, maasi, maami, taayi, and, in worst case scenario, your dear mother. Here are some of the most annoying queries…
The Age-Old (even older than the smirking aunty who is asking you) Question: So, when are you giving the good news? The query is presented in many ways- from can’t wait for the family to have a l’ll one to the more in-your-face version, the next time I meet you I want to see you with a baby! The best reaction is to give a shy smile and keep quiet. Don’t think of sharing your idea of family planning untill and unless you enjoy counter-questions on such a sensitive, not to forget private issue.
The Illogical, Uncomforting Bemusement: Why are you guys not eating in the same plate? Yes, even your eating habits are under scrutiny. You will be constantly reminded that love grows by leaps and bounds for those who share the same plate for eating. Sadly for you, your failure to understand the associated bewildered looks of aunties does not matter. The suggestion here is to act unaware about the so-logical-according-to-aunty reason every single time you both are caught eating from different plates. Hopefully every-time there will be a new aunty noticing you two.
The Don’t-You-Know-You-Have-To Look Qualm: Why are you not decked-up? This one is particularly for the ladies. So, no one told you that the moment you get married, you are required to dress up like a just-married bride 24*7 for at least one month after the wedding? Well, this is the way it is! Taking a quick look in the mirror before heading out from the bedroom is the best thing to do, lest you should hear… Oh my gosh, the new bride is not wearing earrings!
The Most Dreaded, Terror-For-Stomach Question: Why don’t you have some more? The question is more of an order in disguise of a request to ensure that you are well fed. The seemingly-endless dinner invites after your wedding will soon start to scare you if the hosts are strong believers of the rule- ‘you didn’t like it if you didn’t eat as much as they want’. You can try starting with small portions, lesser than your appetite. And appreciating the taste, flavour and presentation after the meal; it is forewarned that if you praise any dish while having the food, it will be heard as your need for some more.
The Raised-Eyebrow Intrusion And Sly-Smile Conclusion: As much as you would want to avoid, the inquisitive and private-lives-invading aunty will ask, that too most probably when a large group is present, that Why do you look tired? Didn’t you sleep well last night? She will also answer for you, before you even realize the hidden meaning of the question, that you need not worry as initially a little fatigue is only natural. As much as you wish to be invisible at this moment, you are not. So, the only thing you can do is to pray that there is lesser number of people when some aunty feels unable to keep her opinion to herself.
Dreading the days ahead? Mission Accomplished.
Jokes apart, just keep in touch with your sense of humour to sail through the tricky situations. The incidents will soon turn into memories you will have a hearty laugh on in the years to come. By the way, for the new matrimonial bond many congratulations and condolences from our side (wicked smile)!  

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